It's The Betty

I think text messaging my typepad does work. Im in bed. Trying to sleep. Its not easy.

Hi

Sending TM's to typepad. Thats new to me

Protein and calcium.  I don't worry about it basically.  Not the right answer for some, but for me it makes sense.  I know that scares people, but with the standard diet for us...what is really the right amount of calcium?  That is my question but slowly not becoming my question.  If I eat what my body feels like, I'm going to get all I need.

Now, if my teeth all fall out, I'll tell you and you'll know NOT to go the raw route.

I know that won't happen.

Funny things have happened.  My eyes are completely rejecting contact lenses.  I think this is sucky because glasses are a pain in the ass for me.  UNEXPECTED.  Who would have thought it would work that fast?  That my body would say "FOREIGN BODY! GET OUT OF MY EYE!"

I've weaned off 5 medications and am down to a half a pain pill.  I still have SOME pain, but no spinal pain and that is weird.  I've had spinal pain since I was 15.  Headaches, gone.

Cleansing.  Your body loses weight and whatever you have stored in your body the past however many years releases.  This means old medications and foods your body didn't know what to do with and stored; these are releasing.  And God knows what is releasing at any given moment.

Then you have some irritability and I don't feel very good right now.  I was shocked to read a list of acceptable and unacceptable foods found here:

http://www.rawschool.com/bestrawfoods.htm

Read it with an open mind.  Some people actually like what may be considered non-edible.  I like wheatgrass, but I haven't checked to see if that falls under non-edible or not.  And this is something you have to learn to listen about.  Meaning "listen" to what you "really" want.  It's different every day.  And EVERYONE feels so different.  Discussing nutrition is like politics and religion.

Some people like raw brocolli.  I don't.  It hurts my stomach and gives me gas.  Yeah.

Is it far fetched to think that you can get what you need out of fruit and some greens?  If it's bitter, don't eat it?

It goes against everything I was taught.  My mom overcooked every vegetable.  That wasn't bad, that was the way she did things because that was the way her mom did things.

We also get a lot of media thrown at us regarding protein and calcium, but how much of that do we really need?  My iron was "low", but what is really the standard if everyone is eating animal based protein?

And eat animal based protein!  This is not a judgement call in any way.  This is just another thing I'm doing to make myself a person in the land of the living.

This is not easy, especially with everyone else in the family eating cooked food.  Although Lee is practicing food combining.  If he makes animal based protein, he doesn't serve it with any starch based product.  Basically eat meat with greens.  Or eat a potato with greens.  But don't mix the meat with the potato because the acid coming out to get rid of the meat in your stomach is "acidic," while the other enzyme coming out to get rid of the potato is "alkaline."  The two cancel each other out.  Then you get more production of both.  And then your body doesn't know what to do with it.

And then it sits in your body and putrifies.  Meat and salad.  Or salad and starch (potatoes, rice, pasta, quinoa..).  No fruit and meat together.

This is based off everything I read and to me it makes sense.  And I'm passing it off.  If you like it, take it.  If you don't, of course ignore me!

In other news, Lee is still working for a company that shall not be named.  But they got taken over by another company.  And he's a team lead.  And he likes it.  It's just at night.  But soon to be daytime.

Lana is here.  My friend John came and sat with me while my ex was picking up the girls (while Lee was out of town.)  Animals like John.  So she sat on his lap basically the entire time.  He petted her the "wrong" way.  Kind of massaging her head and neck.  She would intermittently get off his lap and into her bed.  Everytime I walked by him, she jumped off her bed and into his lap and stared at me as if to say "He's MINE!  I GET HIM!"

She was a lump-o-cat.  Her tail was flipping, but her head was completely down and it was like she could not move.  She was saying:  "Must....resist....flipping................tail.....must...resist..petting...can't.....win...help....zzzzzzzzz..."  When he left, she was floppy-cat.  Usually she comes down to bed with me, but he knocked her out until 5am.</p><p>Ever since, she's been JOHN'S CAT.  She won't even visit me!  I saw him for coffee and the first words out of my mouth were "YOU FUCKED UP MY CAT!"</p><p>

I'm doing better than Lee is at the moment.  As far as his family reading, his sister knows, which is totally fine with me, I just would rather not have other family reading. 

Lee and his sister are freaking out.  It really was a hard day when we saw her pre-chemo. 

Just this second I'm talking to Lee and she's in her first clean remission so that's good news.  She has an infection but they're giving her infusions of red blood cells and platelets.

Blah.  I'm working the ER as I said.  There's a lot to know.  There's someone there who's training us.  She's called a "lead" and has led us on to think she's the manager and our "go to" person.   I found out over the weekend that is not the case.  Our manager is actually a woman who is a great manager and our go-to person.  The "lead" does scheduling.  That's it.  But she's taken it and run with it.  She wants us to ONLY train with her.  She is not a great trainer.  I don't dislike her, but I can't learn when she's showing us stuff online and flipping through screens every second.

She also gives TOO MUCH information.  Right now I think we need to know what we need to function and get the patients back to the room and enter their information in.  Don't tell us things like "Oh and when you do this, you might run into this, or this or this problem, but it's not likey, but it could happen and then...."

Other than that, I like it just fine. 

I don't know what else to type right now.  Not in the best of moods.  A very fast crash.

Kelly, I got your card and forgot to thank you for it!  I've not been online much.

It's been awhile but no one has been looking for me.

Just got home from work.  Working now at an ER and that's pretty interesting.  This is my weekend job, but I'm in training so I'm working as much as I can.

Lee's mom has leukemia and just got done with her 7 day chemo treatment.  She has a bone marrow transplant at the first of the year at Fred Hutch.  She's doing ok for now.  She has NO immune system and is battling an infection. 

If you want to read about her, go to www.gunby.blogspot.com but please DO NOT say you're coming from "bettyalready's" blog here.  I don't exactly want any of the family knowing where I'm at online.  I feel pretty safe saying what she has on here because it's posted on the internet THERE.

I have missed reading a lot of stuff latley, but a lot of crap has been going on.  I'm still waiting on the OK from the other hospital that I'll be working Mon- Friday at....HR is not too bright over there.

Have to go, BenzerBee is crying.

I just checked on all 3 girls.  One is sleeping in her clothes to be ready for school, one is sleeping with her light on and the BOOZERBEE is sideways in bed.  She ended up falling out last nite when I got home and was dazed and confused.

I've mentioned before that my friend, D, has a boyfriend that I think doesn't treat her well.  His name is Arshad.  Arshad and I have had a falling out.  D and I are still friends.  D's daughter had a birthday party that Boo was invited to.  She calls me the night before just to warn me that Arshad will be there.  I said that was fine, I wasn't going to do anything or say anything.  I would be pleasant and so would Lee.

Before I left for work this morning, Boo was talking about the Birthday party and was very excited.

I called D from work to ask her something.  She said "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come to "Daughter's" birthday party?"  Originally, Arshad wasn't going and for some reason changed his mind and was going to be there.  When he found out we were going to be there, he threw a huge fit. 

I said it was fine, because I didn't want D to get a ration of shit from him and I know he wouldn't let it go.  He would pick on her.  I had an idea and that was to send the older girls in with Boo and I'd wait in the car.  Boo thought she was already going, I had picked out a present and I didn't want her to not go and be with her buddy.

So my older girls, knowing some about the Arshad situation, go in.  I realized as they walked through the door that even though they were nervous, the girls are more mature than Arshad.

And then I got pissed.  I probably shouldn't have sent the girls in, but it was a public place and Arshad wouldn't treat them badly.  They took care of Boo.  They had fun.

But I was pissed of at D.  It hit me.  I feel I did nothing wrong, but because Arshad couldn't be adult enough to handle the situation, I was left out in the car, watching my kids from the outside, missing out on the fun they were having.  I didn't get to see Boo do the balance beam or do the gymnastic stuff.  You would think that Arshad wouldn't come if he felt that uncomfortable.  But that's not the way the world works.  Basically I'm being treated like sort of sub-human.  I thought I was a good friend.  I did email Arshad over a month ago and just about 3 times because he was getting physical with D and I felt very protective.  I think that's "bad" in her eyes.  But that was it.  I've not had contact with him since.

Lee and I have not directed any bad behavior to D or Arshad and I have said nothing derogatory regarding Arshad.

The birthday party was about the children.  Boo and "daughter" are buddies.  And he is so selfish and self centered that he picked on Dana and she allowed him to get to her.  She asked me, her supposed friend, to not come to the party.  To uninvite me like I was doing something wrong. 

I found out later from Lee that she called in the morning while I was at work.  She said she didn't want us emailing Arshad or causing problems.  That hurt badly.  We would never do anything to make the situation uncomfortable for her and would never do anything to make it stressful for the kids.  At one time we emailed him and for good reason and I don't regret that.  But I said my thing.  I was done. 

And there I was, in the car, watching my children at a birthday party that I was uninvited to.  I would never do that to anyone.  I would invite whoever and if people had problems with each other, I'd let them deal with it and focus on the kids and the party. 

And it didn't hit me until I'm sitting out the car, looking in at everyone.  And I didn't get to see Boo do the balance beam for the first time.  That hurt.   

It's been a while since I've updated in here.

Or anywhere.

Sort of bad shit has been going on in our house, namely financial.  Since Lee got demoted from his G*W* job, he's been out of it at home.  He forgot to tell me about a few things and we're in the some big fat trouble with our rental house.  The property manager and owner are working with us, thank god. 

If you think I'm blaming Lee, think again.  We're in this together.  We've discussed what is going to happen and I'm basically taking over financial stuff.  Then we agreed that we need to get real with each other.  Meaning be truthful about money.  He hit the nail on the head when he said I spend money to get attention from him.  I had never thought about it in that way, but it's true.  He is also not in reality when it comes to life.  Like, you have to pay rent.  That's first and foremost.  You can't say "Oh, I think I'll skip rent this month because it's going to be hard to do."  We can't do that.   Luckily the owner is willing to work with us.

Basically he and I are communicating about money and bills when we weren't before.

I'm having trouble sleeping.  It's like I feel someone is standing over me and I keep opening my eyes. 

Dreams.  Memory flashes.  Fun.

Huh.  I was pr0-@n@ and didn't even know it.  I looked it up on the web and these are the @n@ commandments.

1. If you aren't thin you aren't attractive.

2. Being thin is more important than being healthy.

3. You must buy small clothes, cut your hair, take diet pills, starve yourself, do anything to make yourself look thinner.

4. Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty.

5. Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself afterwards.

6. Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly.

7. What the scale says is the most important thing.

8. Losing weight is good / gaining weight is bad.

9. You can never be too thin.

10. Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and success. 

Of course I'm not being serious as far as supporting this, but I subconsciously think 8/10 of these things are the way it is.  I don't agree with the list, but I think most of the list.

Is this stuff I should be pouring out online?  I don't know.  I sure as hell don't speak of it ever with people, aside from Lee. 

Maternity Leave

On the T0day show, @merica vs. the w0rld on Maternity leave.

When I had Boo in daycare, I knew a woman from Germany who talked about Germany's maternity leave.  6 weeks paid pre-birth leave and 6 months pay for post-birth.  And they held your job for 6 years after you had the baby.  Sweden has the best where the mom and dad can leave and get 80% pay for 16 months.

We make a lot of progress in the US, but overall, I think the family gets left behind.   People make it that way and people accept it.  Business's don't care about their people, really.  And more time is spent at work than being with family.  Spent with co workers that could most of the time give a shit less about you.  There's got to be a better way than killing yourself trying to make the finances work.

Blah. 

In other news, I'm taking the Hyaluronic Acid supplement.  I can spell it (I think), not say it.  I'm feeling better and I don't know if it's that or not.  I have a feeling it's what is working because I'm just taking zoloft as a med and maybe 2 pain pills a day.  Whereas I was on Zoloft, Plaquenil, Methotrexate, Prednisone (once a month to hit a flare), Hydrocodone, Klonopin and Imipramine.

I'm taking Hyaluronic acid, magnesium for muscle pain, zoloft, an OMEGA 3 oil supplement and I think that's it.  I also have the TENS unit that helped my knee and might be helping with pain.  It's set on an alternating ZAPPING mode so that my body doesn't get used to it.  I've just had it 3 days and I'm not totally sure about it yet.